Here is the feedback that was given to us from our media teacher Mr Hood, from this feedback we will then have another opinion on our film from someone that is not in our group and how he thinks we could improve it.
· Pretty titles. Complimented by the good choice of music. Wish each title faded out though. Sudden 'chop' is a little aggressive in the context of this music with this font, animation, etc.
· First shot or Erica & Adam is strangely framed. Is the empty chair important?
· Better framing when it cuts to Adam opening the present.
· We need a close-up of the present once he's opened it though; I don't know what it is! (until he says).
· Can see the script being held up when it cuts back to Erica (oops).
· Horrendous jump cut at 1.00.
· The music that accompanies this scene suddenly stops on the edit at 1.05. It's distracting.
· Good match-on-action at 1.13, but the edit interrupts the door squeak (which suddenly stops as the door is half open on the edit).
· The pan following Erica towards Rob (from 1.17) needs to keep up with Erica (so that the framing is good by the time she sits down). You don't want to continue the pan once she is sat on the sofa.
· Another awful jump cut at 1.21 (despite your best efforts to hide it with a cross-fade).
· I'm a little confused about the TV scene which fades in and out through black. What is this about?
· Brilliant retro feel at 1.43 brought about by creative colouring. Good costume as well. I'm fully convinced that this is in the 80's.
· Why though is Erica following Tom? Are they strangers? Are they boyfriend & girlfriend? How can you show the audience what their relationship is? (Even if they are strangers).
· Changes in ambient sound at 2.04 are a little startling.
· Some storage background sounds around 2.14.
· Colour changes at 2.21 are too different from the original retro look. Doesn't work. I prefer the original look. I know there are issues with original lighting here, but you have to plan for it and work around it.
· When it cuts at around 2.33, Erica and Tom are walking at a different pace to the previous shot; this creates a continuity error.
· Maybe you need to give Tom a motivation for suddenly attacking Erica; one moment he is just angry and the next he attacks her. What changes in his mind? Perhaps Erica can say something that makes him 'flip'?
· You cut Erica off 'mid scream' at 2.42.
· Don't get the 'sky' shot at 2.44. Was this an attempt to avoid another jump shot?
· Perhaps just a little too much tree at 2.51. You need to hide the detail of the attack, I understand that, but maybe you overdid it?
· Let's have proper credits, not 'With Thanks To'.
· Way, way too short (only just over 3 minutes).
· I'm guessing that there is some footage missing here and I hope that once it is included, the narrative will be more clear. At the moment it is very confusing and difficult to link the scenes.
· On the positive side, the images are very clear and the lighting is excellent.
· What you've filmed looks pretty good on screen (nice clear images), but you need to work on the narrative, framing, timing, sound and editing.
· Don't forget the use of split edits to help you.
· I can't offer you a level or mark, as the film is too short to qualify for anything!
· Without rushing this, you need to finish it. You have obvious filming skill, but your film must make sense and you can't afford any basic errors with continuity.